Marriage is a beautiful gift from God — designed not just for our happiness, but for our holiness.

My wife, Traci, and I have been enjoying it now for 36 years this week. For many, in the beginning, it often feels effortless. There’s love, laughter, butterflies, and dreams.

But as the months and years pass, real life rolls in — bills, stress, kids, work, health, misunderstandings. And somewhere in the pressure of it all, many couples begin to push God to the side. That’s when things start to break down — not just between husband and wife, but between them and God.

Ephesians 5 gives us clear instructions: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (v.22) and “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (v.25).

These aren’t cultural suggestions — they’re divine commands. And they only work when both hearts are surrendered to the Lord.

When the wife submits, it’s not about weakness, but about trusting God’s design.

And when the husband loves like Christ — sacrificially, patiently, tenderly — he becomes the kind of man a woman longs to follow. But here’s the truth: when either one steps outside of God’s plan, the whole marriage begins to wobble and start to fall apart.

Marriages don’t usually fall apart overnight. They crumble slowly when God is no longer at the center — when prayers stop, when selfishness creeps in, when His Word is no longer the guide. Sin always wants the final say.

But when both husband and wife stay obedient to God, putting Him in the center, they’re not just holding onto each other — they’re anchored by something stronger. God holds them.

Picture a triangle with God at the top point, husband and wife at the two bottom corners. The closer each person moves toward God, the closer they also grow toward each other.

That’s the secret — not fixing each other, but drawing closer to the Lord together.

So today, if your marriage feels distant, ask this: Have I left God out? Return to His Word. Pray together again.

Obey even when it’s hard.

Because a marriage with God in the middle is the only kind that truly lasts.

“A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” Ecclesiastes 4:12.

Let God be the center strand, always.

Scott Mitchell is the pastor at Solid Rock Baptist Church, located at 13704 Farm Road 1040 in Exeter. He may be reached at 417-846-6619..