I got my first job at 11.

Well, I suppose it wasn’t technically a job. They say do the things you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. At that age, the thing I loved most was soccer.

I played any chance I got, and as soon as I was old enough, I followed in my father’s footsteps and picked up a whistle.

The job was refereeing soccer games on the weekends, and for a pre-teen, the money was fantastic! I started doing younger youth games, but by my mid and late teens, I had graduated to refereeing youth my age or even a year or two older, as well as assistant refereeing for the men’s amateur league, where I could make $150 a day if I put in about 8 hours.

Refereeing any sport is challenging. There are the black and white rules of the game, like if the ball goes out of bound on the sideline, the team who did not touch the ball last gets a throw-in. But, like anything else in life, there are gray areas. The phrase for this in the soccer refereeing world is, “In the opinion of the referee.”

Through working thousands of games from age 11-26, when I moved to Cassville, I had nearly weekly lessons in decision-making, fairness and game management.

These are tools I took with me in my daily life and in my career. Upset customers and angry coaches are not all that different from one another. Keeping calm, explaining situations and reaching solutions are all easier said than done when dealing with the ill-tempered.

I have my few horror stories from the field. The most memorable was when I was about 12 years old and refereeing a U-9 game. I don’t remember the exact cause of the argument, but the coaches of both teams started getting into it, so much so the game came to a halt as kids and parents watched the duo square up with one another. It wasn’t the last time I had to send a coach or parent to the parking lot, and it takes a considerable amount of courage as a pre-teen to tell two grown adults, “This game will not continue if you both don’t leave.”

Outside of the negative parent and coach interactions over the years, the benefits from refereeing are abundantly clear. For soccer especially, physical fitness was a big plus. Refs, at least the ones who do it right, run about 6-8 miles in a 90-minute match, more than most players in the game. 

There was also a connection to community, the referee community. I developed many great relationships with my fellow referees not only where I was based in Little Rock, but also in places like Memphis, where we would routinely work weekend tournaments. 

Another benefit was travel and life experiences. Twice, I refereed at the Disney Soccer Tournament at the Walt Disney Wide World of Sports complex in Kissimmee, Fla. Through my late teens, I participated in the Olympic Development Program, enjoying a week-long camp at the University of Alabama playing against the best players in a 12-state region, then getting a couple days off and refereeing the following week with some of the best refs in the region.

Akin to dealing with coaches, parents or players upset with calls is the fact that I built a thick skin. Keeping your cool in some moments is tougher than it may seem, but professionalism shown in high-energy moments is translatable to many, many other facets of regular life.

Also, by exuding the correct professionalism, you end up becoming a role model for younger (or even older) referees who find themselves in similar situations. Being placed in that role gives a sense of pride and joy I’ve found tough to replicate since leaving the game.

While I don’t referee much any more, constrained by time, work and having a family, I still enjoy watching referees in all sports I cover, and make an effort to compliment them when the opportunity arises.

An example of that was in the district championship football game against Seneca. The referee on Cassville’s side was the epitome of a good official. On top of his good calls and vocal explanations when maybe not everyone agreed, he offered candy to managers and kept things light by dancing to the music over the scoreboard.

After that game ended, I chased him down just to say, “Hey man, you called a great game and I could tell you were having a lot of fun. Keep it up.”

His response was greater than I expected. “Hey, hey guys,” he called out to his fellow officials grinning ear to ear. “Did you hear what that guy said?”

If you frequent gyms or fields this year to watch youth sports, please keep in mind that no matter how well or poorly a referee may be doing, we are all human. Refs don’t go into games intending to make bad calls, but they do happen. Like anything else in life, adversity is part of the game.

Also, there is a shortage of referees in nearly all sports, partially due to treatment, so if you have time or interest, or love sports and being a role model, give it a shot. If you have kids who play sports, encourage them to sign up.

Advancement opportunities are everywhere, and they will learn while also doing something fun. At least, it was fun for me.

Kyle Troutman has served as editor of the Cassville Democrat since 2014 and owner/publisher since 2023. He is a three-time ISWNE Golden Dozen award winner. He may be reached at 417-847-2610 or [email protected].